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stonepicnicking_okapi) wrote2024-09-30 09:21 am
stonepicnicking_okapi) wrote2024-09-30 09:21 am
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Fannish 50: 2024: Everything is Murder edition: #36: Lord Peter Wimsey
I can't believe I'm at #36 and I haven't mentioned Lord Peter. I just finished listening to a decent version of The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club on Youtube to get the feel of him so I could write this little story. Not a murder, as it turns out. For ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
sweetandshort September 10 out of 20 challenge.
Title: A story on a ghastly night
Fandom: Lord Peter Wimsey mysteries - Dorothy L. Sayers
Rating: Gen
Length: 500
Characters: Lord Peter Wimsey & Charles Parker
Prompt: night
Summary: Inspector Parker tells a story.
Lord Peter Wimsey settled his friend Inspector Charles Parker into a luxurious armchair and piled him with cigars and fine brandy then said,
“Out with it, man. You don’t wash up on my doorstep on a ghastly night like tonight without a reason.”
“Can’t I make a social call?” asked Parker with mock affrontery. “You’re right, of course. A pretty little circumstance presented itself. For once, I don’t need your assistance, but I thought it would amuse.”
Lord Peter waltzed to his piano and played a few bars of a famous overture with aristocratic finesse.
“Let’s have it.”
“Last night an officer was called to a house of certain lady, let’s call her Irene. Now, there’s a body on the floor of the bedroom, room itself is in shambles, and the lady is, well, dressed for bed. She confesses she’s responsible for the man’s death, but I’ll be blessed if she’ll get charged for anything.” He paused.
“Now, what do you say to that, m’lord?”
“I say let’s make a game of it. We’re two sporting chaps on a beastly night, why shouldn’t we have some fun?”
“Right you are.”
“Right ho. The dead man was her lover? Oh, you said body, not man, was it a man?”
“It was a dead man, and he wasn’t her lover. Next.”
“Weapon?”
“No weapon.”
“Anyone else in the house? Residing or temporarily?”
“No, Miss Irene lives alone. And she was alone, well, save for the man, when the death occurred.”
“You say the dead man wasn’t her lover, but was he any relation at all to her?”
“None at all. They were complete strangers to one another.”
“Violence on the body?”
“No.”
“But the room was in shambles?”
“Yes.”
“And Spinster Irene called the police. Hmm. And confessed that she was, how did you put it, ‘responsible for his death.’”
They fell into a comfortable silence while both sipped and smoked and stared meditatively at the fire.
Finally, Lord Peter said,
“It was his heart, wasn’t it?”
A smile broke across the Yard man’s face.
“It was,” he said with no little satisfaction.
“Miss Irene was at home, preparing for her forty winks, when she heard our dead man, a burglar by trade, enter and decided to hide—is there an adjoining bath?”
“There is not, but there is a roomy wardrobe.”
“Ah, so she hid herself in the wardrobe. Thief goes about his business. Spinster surprises him, and he drops dead of fright.”
Parker grinned. “You’ve got it, save for the funny bit.”
“Do tell, what could be so frightening about this Irene that a seasoned criminal gets his ticker sprung?”
“She had layered Doctor Peabody’s Nighttime Luminously Lime Beauty Treatment all about her face.”
Lord Peter howled. Parker joined in.
“Most pleasin’ problem, Mister Parker, most pleasin’, indeed.”
“I thought you would like it.”
“And a lesson to us, isn’t it? The moral is, of course, beauty kills.”
“So it does, m’lord, so it does. And crime does not pay.”
And this is the collage which makes me think of Lord Peter:
This is a challenge to post about 50 things I'm fannish about in 2024. I did the challenge in 2023 so to make it more interesting, in 2024, it's Everything is Murder edition. More info & to sign up here:https://alexcat.dreamwidth.org/1357645.html
The List (to date)
Fannish 50: 2024: #1: Jeeves & Wooster
Fannish 50: 2024: #2: Libraries
Fannish 50: 2024: #3: Facial Sheet Masks
Fannish 50: 2024: #4: Venom
Fannish 50: 2024: #5: jhope of BTS
Fannish 50: 2024: #6: the art of Edward Gorey
Fannish 50: 2024: #7: The works of Edgar Allan Poe
Fannish 50: 2024: #8: SUGA of BTS
Fannish 50: 2024: #9: Miss Marple - Agatha Christie
Fannish 50: 2024: #10: Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
Fannish 50: 2024: #11: Honkaku & shin honkaku detective fiction
Fannish 50: 2024: #12: Audiobooks
Fannish 50: 2024: #13: Holiday blend coffee
Fannish 50: 2024: #14: Jazz
Fannish 50: 2024: #15: Jigsaw puzzles
Fannish 50: 2024: #16: Sherlock Holmes
Fannish 50: 2024: #17: Poetry
Fannish 50: 2024: #18: Chocolate
Fannish 50: 2024: #19: Detective Matthew Venn series - Ann Cleeves
Fannish 50: 2024: #20: Tarot
Fannish 50: 2024: #21: Poirot - Agatha Christie
Fannish 50: 2024: #22: The ocean
Fannish 50: 2024: #23: Hardboiled detectives/noir
Fannish 50: 2024: #24: Tea
Fannish 50: 2024: #25: Bees & honey
Fannish 50: 2024: #26: Campion - Margery Allingham
Fannish 50: 2024: #27: The language of flowers
Fannish 50: 2024: #28: The moon
Fannish 50: 2024: #29: Gervase Fen detective series - Edmund Crispin
Fannish 50: 2024: #30: James Bond
Fannish 50: 2024: #31: Jungkook of BTS
Fannish 50: 2024: #32: Inspector Alleyn series - Ngaio Marsh
Fannish 50: 2024: #33: Collage materials
Fannish 50: 2024: #34: RM of BTS
Fannish 50: 2024: #35: Nanette Hayes mysteries - Charlotte Carter
Fannish 50: 2024: #36: Lord Peter Wimsey - Dorothy L. Sayers
sweetandshort September 10 out of 20 challenge.Title: A story on a ghastly night
Fandom: Lord Peter Wimsey mysteries - Dorothy L. Sayers
Rating: Gen
Length: 500
Characters: Lord Peter Wimsey & Charles Parker
Prompt: night
Summary: Inspector Parker tells a story.
Lord Peter Wimsey settled his friend Inspector Charles Parker into a luxurious armchair and piled him with cigars and fine brandy then said,
“Out with it, man. You don’t wash up on my doorstep on a ghastly night like tonight without a reason.”
“Can’t I make a social call?” asked Parker with mock affrontery. “You’re right, of course. A pretty little circumstance presented itself. For once, I don’t need your assistance, but I thought it would amuse.”
Lord Peter waltzed to his piano and played a few bars of a famous overture with aristocratic finesse.
“Let’s have it.”
“Last night an officer was called to a house of certain lady, let’s call her Irene. Now, there’s a body on the floor of the bedroom, room itself is in shambles, and the lady is, well, dressed for bed. She confesses she’s responsible for the man’s death, but I’ll be blessed if she’ll get charged for anything.” He paused.
“Now, what do you say to that, m’lord?”
“I say let’s make a game of it. We’re two sporting chaps on a beastly night, why shouldn’t we have some fun?”
“Right you are.”
“Right ho. The dead man was her lover? Oh, you said body, not man, was it a man?”
“It was a dead man, and he wasn’t her lover. Next.”
“Weapon?”
“No weapon.”
“Anyone else in the house? Residing or temporarily?”
“No, Miss Irene lives alone. And she was alone, well, save for the man, when the death occurred.”
“You say the dead man wasn’t her lover, but was he any relation at all to her?”
“None at all. They were complete strangers to one another.”
“Violence on the body?”
“No.”
“But the room was in shambles?”
“Yes.”
“And Spinster Irene called the police. Hmm. And confessed that she was, how did you put it, ‘responsible for his death.’”
They fell into a comfortable silence while both sipped and smoked and stared meditatively at the fire.
Finally, Lord Peter said,
“It was his heart, wasn’t it?”
A smile broke across the Yard man’s face.
“It was,” he said with no little satisfaction.
“Miss Irene was at home, preparing for her forty winks, when she heard our dead man, a burglar by trade, enter and decided to hide—is there an adjoining bath?”
“There is not, but there is a roomy wardrobe.”
“Ah, so she hid herself in the wardrobe. Thief goes about his business. Spinster surprises him, and he drops dead of fright.”
Parker grinned. “You’ve got it, save for the funny bit.”
“Do tell, what could be so frightening about this Irene that a seasoned criminal gets his ticker sprung?”
“She had layered Doctor Peabody’s Nighttime Luminously Lime Beauty Treatment all about her face.”
Lord Peter howled. Parker joined in.
“Most pleasin’ problem, Mister Parker, most pleasin’, indeed.”
“I thought you would like it.”
“And a lesson to us, isn’t it? The moral is, of course, beauty kills.”
“So it does, m’lord, so it does. And crime does not pay.”
And this is the collage which makes me think of Lord Peter:
This is a challenge to post about 50 things I'm fannish about in 2024. I did the challenge in 2023 so to make it more interesting, in 2024, it's Everything is Murder edition. More info & to sign up here:https://alexcat.dreamwidth.org/1357645.html
The List (to date)
Fannish 50: 2024: #1: Jeeves & Wooster
Fannish 50: 2024: #2: Libraries
Fannish 50: 2024: #3: Facial Sheet Masks
Fannish 50: 2024: #4: Venom
Fannish 50: 2024: #5: jhope of BTS
Fannish 50: 2024: #6: the art of Edward Gorey
Fannish 50: 2024: #7: The works of Edgar Allan Poe
Fannish 50: 2024: #8: SUGA of BTS
Fannish 50: 2024: #9: Miss Marple - Agatha Christie
Fannish 50: 2024: #10: Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
Fannish 50: 2024: #11: Honkaku & shin honkaku detective fiction
Fannish 50: 2024: #12: Audiobooks
Fannish 50: 2024: #13: Holiday blend coffee
Fannish 50: 2024: #14: Jazz
Fannish 50: 2024: #15: Jigsaw puzzles
Fannish 50: 2024: #16: Sherlock Holmes
Fannish 50: 2024: #17: Poetry
Fannish 50: 2024: #18: Chocolate
Fannish 50: 2024: #19: Detective Matthew Venn series - Ann Cleeves
Fannish 50: 2024: #20: Tarot
Fannish 50: 2024: #21: Poirot - Agatha Christie
Fannish 50: 2024: #22: The ocean
Fannish 50: 2024: #23: Hardboiled detectives/noir
Fannish 50: 2024: #24: Tea
Fannish 50: 2024: #25: Bees & honey
Fannish 50: 2024: #26: Campion - Margery Allingham
Fannish 50: 2024: #27: The language of flowers
Fannish 50: 2024: #28: The moon
Fannish 50: 2024: #29: Gervase Fen detective series - Edmund Crispin
Fannish 50: 2024: #30: James Bond
Fannish 50: 2024: #31: Jungkook of BTS
Fannish 50: 2024: #32: Inspector Alleyn series - Ngaio Marsh
Fannish 50: 2024: #33: Collage materials
Fannish 50: 2024: #34: RM of BTS
Fannish 50: 2024: #35: Nanette Hayes mysteries - Charlotte Carter
Fannish 50: 2024: #36: Lord Peter Wimsey - Dorothy L. Sayers