Into the Void: Vegas!

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

The nutshell is I'm going to Las Vegas next month to see BTS in concert.

OMG! What am I doing!?

It was a difficult choice for me. I have only been a fan for about 7 months. Am I too old for this? It's a boy band. I wasn't a fan of boy bands even when I was a teenager. I like music, but I am not a pop music fan.

But there's something about these boys! [big thank to fellow ARMY bethctg for the last minute encouragement]

It is a lot of money [ticket, hotel, airfare, really the fees are what makes things expensive, all around, if it weren't for fees things would be more reasonable].

The process wasn't easy. I had to register as an official BTS fan (ARMY), then sign up for the pre-sale, then sign up at Ticketmaster, then join the waiting room and at 6 pm PT on Wednesday and was transferred to the queue (985 people ahead of me), then pick a seat. The seats for all 4 shows sold out in 5 hours. The stadium seats 65,000 (I think).

I haven't been to a live concert in 31 years.

I haven't been on an airplane or spent the night away from my kids in 6 years.

I am terrified, but I am going to (try to) do it.

The thing that pushed me over was I realized [while walking to pick up the boys at the bus stop on Tuesday] in May, I am going to be 47 years old. When my mother was 47, she got sick, went into a vegetative state after about a month, and died 5 months later. [Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease aka Mad Cow disease].

No one really knows how much time they have, so why not?

Now I am afraid I am too fat for the airplane, so I am going to try to lose some weight.

And practice my Korean!

I don't know why I like them so much, but I do.

Comments

[sixbeforelunch]

Yay! I'm so excited for you! Have fun :D

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Thank you, thank you! I am hoping it will be a lot of fun.

[smallhobbit]

Wow! That's brilliant :)

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Thank you! I didn't mention it because I wasn't certain until Tuesday that I was even going to try to do it. I had to register last week and get a code and there were several steps. I am not a competitive shopper by any means. I have been to Las Vegas once a long, long time ago. I am not a gambler but there are lot of things to see and do.

[kingstoken]

Have fun!

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Thanks!

[dr_zook]

Wow! It sounds like you made the only decicion that makes sense, I hope you'll have a grand time! Obsessions led me to priceless experiences so far, haha.

(I hope you aren't serious about your weight. Don't stress yourself (or your body) too much over the upcoming trip! ♥)

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

I do like your icon! That's how I feel. Thank you! Yeah, it will be interesting to be in a place where there are other fans. I've only known fans online. I've never actually met another fan (of anything I've been a fan of) in person.

Oh, I wish I could not stress about my weight :( but I don't know how to do that. I'm big. I don't really have much (any?) self-esteem anyway, so it's just one more thing--but I am going to focus on enjoying myself when I'm there and try not to think that I don't belong in public, I'm taking up too much space, all those lovely things.

[dr_zook]

God, that sounds so very exciting! Are you literally planning to meet others there, guys you know only online yet? Bouncy bunny is bouncy indeed. :D

I'm sorry you're feeling that way, honestly. As I'm not a very dainty person myself (I'm not sure about US sizing (apart from being completely grotesque), but here in Germany my clothing is ranging from 42 to 46), I know that feeling of taking up too much space and the like. I think it got gradually better, starting years ago when my then-girlfriend (and now-wife) wheedled me into joining her at a sauna. And I had just started to dare to go to the public baths again... anyway, being confronted with so. many. different. naked bodies of all sizes and shapes definitely helped me there! My whole family is overweight (and neurotic), and my relationship with food is not easy either. Working out (at home via decent apps) helped me also to get a feeling for my body, and I think that's something you're doing already, aren't you? Be more patient with yourself! :)

Your plan to focus on enjoying yourself sounds perfect!! You can do this! ♥

Maybe it also helps to contact the airline company, and tell them about your worries beforehand? It's in their interest to offer you the best experience & service, and maybe they can fix your seat reservation in case the one beside you can be left empty, so you wouldn't have to worry about potentially irritating other passengers.

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

I only have one ARMY friend, whom I met here online on DW (bethctg) and she's not going, so I'll be by myself. That part is okay. I went to the Women's March in Washington DC all by myself, alone in a crowd of 500,000 people to protest Trump's presidency. I don't mind being alone in a crowd. And I don't really have friends except online friends, none of whom I've met. I've never actually met another fannish person in real life. That's not the world I live in.

My weight has to do with my decision to have children and it's all tied up in that. I got married because I was pregnant and I quit working because I was pregnant (again). It's all sort of domino chain. Why I got pregnant is sort of the horrible part. I regret most of the past 13 years of my life.

I am glad you have found your way to/along the path of acceptance. I don't know that I'll ever get there. I am exercising and trying to eat better. I have a problem with binging. I like saunas, too. They had a tiny dry sauna in the locker room of the YMCA I used to go to before the pandemic. I haven't been to one since.

The boys' father, I don't even know what to say. He's not an asshole but he is part of the problem. But he's okay with spending money and me going to the concert.

Yeah, I will look and see how big the seats are. You could pick your seats but that costs $40 more per flight. It was kind of tricky. They are already charging $60 per flight for a carry-on bag. It's crazy.

[dr_zook]

I've never actually met another fannish person in real life. That's not the world I live in. - That's about 99% of my friends, really! The only fannish person I met via LiveJournal so far in RL was actually liriaen, and we're married now, which wasn't planned at all, haha. Wait, I met someone in RL who met her girlfriend also via fannish activities-- which was kind of weird, I must admit, because they squeed over Once Upon a Time, and I was like, "Well, we wrote Jesus/Lucifer porn for each other." Tells strangers slightly more about yourself than, ahem, we met on Tinder, doesn't it. XD

It sounds like it's all quite tangled up with each other (your kids, their father, and decicions you made), and I hope you didn't read my comment as frivolous and/or condescending! I hope taking this little vacation in Vegas is a good start (or: further step) in valuing yourself more. Your body is absolutely awesome, because it bore you fantastic & hale kids! I'm crossing my fingers that you can soon return to the sauna, if you think that's something you missed. ♥

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

That is pretty cool. I think it's kind of neat how people who like the same things find each other, and the more (seemingly, though, maybe not) obscure they are, the more interesting it is. Once Upon a Time is a big fandom, but then so is Jesus :)

No, we're good. I appreciate the good thoughts.

[misbegotten]

Huzzah! I hope you have a fabulous time!

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Thank you! I hope so, too!

[pensnest]

I was about 47 when I went to my first Backstreet Boys concert. I regret nothing.

Sometimes there is just... something about those boys. Have a fabulous time!

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Oh, wow! Thank you for telling me! Yes, you know the feeling well. I hope to have a great time.

[debriswoman]

What a great adventure for you…delighted you have gone ahead…looking forward to hearing all about it:-)

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Thank you very much!

[unavee]

Oh, that's exciting! I heard the tickets sold out fast. Their concerts seem amazing; I hope you have a lot of fun.

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Yes, 4 nights, 50k capacity stadium sold out in 5 hours with a verified fan club pre-sale, so yeah. I hope I have a good time.