My Poem: Sherlock Holmes (ACD): Bird of Paradise: Gen

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Title: Bird of Paradise
Fandom: Sherlock Holmes (ACD)
Rating: Gen
Length: 90
Poetic form: Etheree
Notes: This poem is a bit of a hot mess because I wanted to make it look like a fan, for the holmes_minor Poetry Page prompt of the language of fans, but the order of reading got a bit messed up when I rearranged it. And so it's like a very poorly executed palindrome poem. This also goes with the ficlet about Violet Mohels doing a cabaret song/dance with fans, Bird of Paradise on holmes_genders. So the two parts are converging on a centre.

I am looking for a certain danger
in a room where all eyes are on me
to say it with plumes, beads, and silk
to declare ‘I love you so much’
quickly, quickly, quickly
I’m fanning my breast
all eyes on me
and my fan
on me
eyes
lies
you see
where the man
puffs. My eyes see
with want, every chest
that all loins turn sickly
swaying, betraying such
a bird of honey and sweet milk
I can’t but see what the others see
‘hello, beautiful, you luscious stranger’

Comments

[scfrankles]

I think the form does work well though. As you go from either end into the centre, the shortening lines suggests the tension building up - especially I’m fanning my breast /all eyes on me /and /my fan /on me /eyes

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Yay. I was looking at it for so long and turning it inside out and finally I wasn't even certain it made sense. But as soon as I read the poetry page the first time, I was thinking of the etheree. It's a lovely concrete shape to play with. The only fan dance I've seen is the Miss Fisher Murders one.