![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stonepicnicking_okapiI meant to get this done in October, but oh well. This is set in my 'Holmes is a vampire AU'
For the Holmes Minor poetry page prompt of bradshaw train timetable guides. I used a guide from 1891 and a random number generator and picked 5 pages to use as inspiration for the various murders.
The Haunted Bradshaw by okapi
“We have a spot of bother,” said the Yarder to the sleuth,
“and we’d be much obliged, if you could ferret out the truth.”
Detective eyed his pipe, both undead in all their glory.
Former lit the latter, saying, “Tell me the whole story.”
“It has to do with trains, sir. There’s an awful lot that’s rum;
one mad, two dead, and pardon me, I ‘spect there’s more to come.”
“The first was a young girl—though no one knew it at the time—
the lass was found a-babbling—tragic but not a crime.
Twixt Swindon ‘n’ Wootten Bassett, they found her on the track,
looked like poor thing was struck mad by a fit or an attack.
Twas’ traveling alone to visit Gran, we understand,
but see here, she’d a page of Bradshaw clutched in her dear hand.”
“Off the London to Bristol of the Great Western Main Line,
one morning, they found her, about three-quarters past the nine.
She can’t tell us nothing. The miss hasn’t yet recovered.
The only clue we’ve got is the Bradshaw sheaf discovered.
For the page she gripped corresponded to her trip, you see,
and we want to know what upset the chit’s itiner’y.”
“The next was murder, simple, plain. A man near Audley End
was found with a railroad spike sunk at a heart-stopping bend
in his chest. At Bartlow, he’d boarded the Great Eastern train,
and made it to Saffron Walden, then joined the Great Refrain,
(between 4:40 and 4:46, we can be sure)
with torn Bradshaw page, metaphorically, nailed to death’s door.”
“The Great Northern hasn’t escaped doling out fatal fate.
A boots was sawed in half near Potter’s Bar, fixed on his pate
was page 188 of Bradshaw. The tears along the side
of the sheet match—like teeth—to another leaf of the guide,
the one found at Audley End. Now, Mister Holmes, please advise—"
But the reply was cut short by an unwelcome surprise.
“The Bradshaw killer’s struck again! This time it’s in New Clee!”
“That’s very far from London,” said the nightwalker. “Let me.”
With a touch of the sleeve, the two were carried to the scene,
And the sleuth went to work, cataloging fine, gross, and mean,
deducing and concluding, arriving at a neat gist,
“Inspector, there’s a murderous timetable in our midst!”
They followed the Bradshaw’s taint, like a trail of creosote,
sleuth leading, leaping, like a supernatural mountain goat,
until Hipperholme, on the Lancashire and Yorkshire Main,
too late to spare a widow from garroting by down-train,
but not too late to seize a phantom Information Booth,
and the demon guide therein and arrive at the dark truth.
The thing resented freedom, questions, travel, liberty,
But what it hated most was railway punctuality.
Holmes exorcised the damaged book, swallowed the demon raw
like an egg undercooked, it slippered down his vampire maw.
Holmes kept the ghoul-less guide as a piece for reminiscing—
should anyone dare to ask why five pages are missing!
For the Holmes Minor poetry page prompt of bradshaw train timetable guides. I used a guide from 1891 and a random number generator and picked 5 pages to use as inspiration for the various murders.
The Haunted Bradshaw by okapi
“We have a spot of bother,” said the Yarder to the sleuth,
“and we’d be much obliged, if you could ferret out the truth.”
Detective eyed his pipe, both undead in all their glory.
Former lit the latter, saying, “Tell me the whole story.”
“It has to do with trains, sir. There’s an awful lot that’s rum;
one mad, two dead, and pardon me, I ‘spect there’s more to come.”
“The first was a young girl—though no one knew it at the time—
the lass was found a-babbling—tragic but not a crime.
Twixt Swindon ‘n’ Wootten Bassett, they found her on the track,
looked like poor thing was struck mad by a fit or an attack.
Twas’ traveling alone to visit Gran, we understand,
but see here, she’d a page of Bradshaw clutched in her dear hand.”
“Off the London to Bristol of the Great Western Main Line,
one morning, they found her, about three-quarters past the nine.
She can’t tell us nothing. The miss hasn’t yet recovered.
The only clue we’ve got is the Bradshaw sheaf discovered.
For the page she gripped corresponded to her trip, you see,
and we want to know what upset the chit’s itiner’y.”
“The next was murder, simple, plain. A man near Audley End
was found with a railroad spike sunk at a heart-stopping bend
in his chest. At Bartlow, he’d boarded the Great Eastern train,
and made it to Saffron Walden, then joined the Great Refrain,
(between 4:40 and 4:46, we can be sure)
with torn Bradshaw page, metaphorically, nailed to death’s door.”
“The Great Northern hasn’t escaped doling out fatal fate.
A boots was sawed in half near Potter’s Bar, fixed on his pate
was page 188 of Bradshaw. The tears along the side
of the sheet match—like teeth—to another leaf of the guide,
the one found at Audley End. Now, Mister Holmes, please advise—"
But the reply was cut short by an unwelcome surprise.
“The Bradshaw killer’s struck again! This time it’s in New Clee!”
“That’s very far from London,” said the nightwalker. “Let me.”
With a touch of the sleeve, the two were carried to the scene,
And the sleuth went to work, cataloging fine, gross, and mean,
deducing and concluding, arriving at a neat gist,
“Inspector, there’s a murderous timetable in our midst!”
They followed the Bradshaw’s taint, like a trail of creosote,
sleuth leading, leaping, like a supernatural mountain goat,
until Hipperholme, on the Lancashire and Yorkshire Main,
too late to spare a widow from garroting by down-train,
but not too late to seize a phantom Information Booth,
and the demon guide therein and arrive at the dark truth.
The thing resented freedom, questions, travel, liberty,
But what it hated most was railway punctuality.
Holmes exorcised the damaged book, swallowed the demon raw
like an egg undercooked, it slippered down his vampire maw.
Holmes kept the ghoul-less guide as a piece for reminiscing—
should anyone dare to ask why five pages are missing!
no subject
Date: 2023-11-07 06:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-11-07 07:43 pm (UTC)