My Poem: Sherlock Holmes (ACD): Love's Old Sweet Song: Gen

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Title: Love's Old Sweet Song
Fandom: Sherlock Holmes (ACD)
Length: 135
Rating: Gen
Poetic form: Xenolith
Notes: For the holmes_minor poetry page. The xenolith is a two part poem with teeth intertwined like combs. One part of this are the lyrics of Love's Old Sweet Song, the poetry page prompt, and the larger part is my verse based on "The Retired Colourman." I also included this in my chocolate wrapper poetry series. This was a bar of Ruby Chocolate (very pink but tasting very mild) from ww.cocopzazz.co.uk.

old tale, a treacherous friend and a fickle wife;
once in the dear dead days beyond recall,
they must’ve been happy, full of love and of life,
when on the world the mists began to fall,
betrayal, jealousy, which the drum, which the fife?
though the heart be weary, sad the day and long
still to us at twilight comes love’s old song
of spider’s web spun shrewd and sharp as palatte knife,
just a song at twilight when the lights are low,
and the flickering shadows softly come and go,
‘pon overgrown garden and noxious plumbing rife
though the heart be weary, sad the day and long,
though the faults entombed and painted over the strife
still to us at twilight comes love’s old song,
old tale, a murderous man and his murdered wife.

Comments

[smallhobbit]

It's really clever how you manage to weave together the two parts - and then fit it to a chocolate wrapper as well.

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Thank you! I really liked the song and wanted to do something with it. I meant to do a love poem for Valentine's Day with the wrapper but time got away from me. So I thought the contrast with the sweetness of the song and cruelty of the canon story was a good one.

[lunabee34]

I completely agree! It's very cleverly done.

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Thank you, thank you!

[scfrankles]

I really admire what you've done with the prompt. The lyrics of the sweet love song suddenly gaining a sinister aspect in this new context - your poem illustrating that sometimes there's only a small step from love to hate. And the wrapper fits in so well too. The flowers are pretty and cheerful but they are so closely pressed together - it turns into a feeling of suffocation.

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Thank you! Yes, I wanted something very sweet made sinister and the chocolate wrapper looked (a bit?) like the overgrown garden of the Ambereley house.

[debriswoman]

This is brilliant:-)

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

Thank you, thank you! I enjoyed the chocolate. The only world I can think of is 'mild.' British chocolate is (from my limited survey) usually milder than American chocolate but this was even milder than your dairy bar/milk bar or whatever. PINK! but not a hint of strawberry or any other fruit, to my taste. I wanted the wrapper to look like the garden at the Amberley house.